let this be the epitaph for my heart...

ohhhh...the magnetic fields, how i love them.

project runway, my guilty pleasure. i can't belive angela(?) is still on the show. she's like the crazy nutty bar aunt, superflake! keith keith keith, get over yourself. sometimes, it's not always about who's best at construction, sometimes it's actually about creativity. oh yeah, and i miss michael kors telling someone it looks like a doormat.

good day at the bates motel, things could be turning around, but i still only have 57 more days.....the countdown continues.

apple pie trailers

i sometimes get obsessed with apple trailers. these are the movies that look good to me:

Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles(because i love zhang yimou)
The Science of Sleep(because i loved eternal sunshine...)
Running with Scissors(because i love wes anderson)
American Hardcore(because i love le punk)
Gabrielle(because i love isabel huppert)

...i bossanova witcha!

not much of a weekend, it's been a long time since i've had free access to HBO, and i can definitely say, it puts a dent into my social aspirations. although, i'm loving the DVR thing, i have now been recording all of the pee-wee's playhouse shows on adult swim, thank you adult swim, not to mention various other shows and stupid movies that i've never seen nor would i ever pay to rent them, such as "The Notebook". yep, it's true, i am indeed a girl. i've also been taping tons of stuff for no's. 1 & 2, like, and this is awesome, pee-wee's playhouse, which we get to enjoy together, the indian in the cupboard, which i've yet to see, and foul play, that one's just pure nostalgia. yep, that DVR masheen, it's purty dern neet.

made some good grub tonight, i made a cucumber salad with tomatoes and artichokes and then i sauteed some salmon and we ate them together, turned out wuite nicely. i think the vinegar-y flavor went well with the salmon, although, i think next time i might go for some kind of fish with a more distinct flavor. any suggestions....?

junior varsity

i can't say enough about how i have been living for project runway. and....i hate to admit, but i'm rooting for the punk. i mean, in the aftermath, i really do think santino isn't all that bad, it was really just his cocky self i couldn't take. i can't believe they let that crazy british guy on, even after the diss, what is tim gunn thinking? not to mention that the networks picked it up. i rememeber when they did that to queer eye, didn't last though, probably because of that god-awful opening sequence. i mean, we all know they're gay, but i don't think i've ever heard any gayer music in my life, and i used to be a little gay dance club club kid too.

on another note, the bates motel.....is so boring. there's nothing to do there. i hate watching clocks. 62 days left, 4278 miles left to drive, 142.6 gallons of energy to consume for a job in which i don't even get paid, and 124 hours worth of driving time wasted on not seeing no.s 1 & 2.

x-ray spex

started at the psycho motel today, it was sloooooow. the funny thing is, they all said it was busy. rut-roh. i did get to see some traumas, and that was cool. not much else happened. i couldn't go to sleep last night, the combination of nearly finishing the harry potter 5 book, and the idea of having to drive the commute was itching on the brain, and therefore i only got 3 hours of sleep last night. everytime i was in a dark room today my eyelids got soooooo heeeeaaavvvyyy. i'd have a hard time sitting in a dark room all day long, i can tell you that. the cafeteria at the motel was funny, all the lunch ladies immediately spotted me as fresh meat, and were quite nice, wanted to get all friendly and 'know' my name. funny how small towns are, people there actually are nosy and involved in their immediate surrounding communities. $2 for hot lunch wasn't too bad either, although i didn't quite have the menu choices of yesteryear.

made some killer peach cobbler last night, i think cobbler is seriously the easiest dang dessert to ever make, except for maybe strawberry shortcake. i use the batter that floats to the surface as it bakes, and not the pie crust strip on top type. i don't feel like the pie crust version gets to the roots of a cobbler, nor does it create the same rustic quality. i definitely prefer the floating batter variety, plus it's insanely easy, and delicious. i don't know what to make for next weeks dessert. hmmm, i'm sensing a theme, weekly sunday pastry.....

bates motel

i start at the bates motel tomorrow. i'm hoping the only bad thing about it is the drive, being as it's an hour and fifteen minutes away. damn, i thought a 45 minute commute was bad when in london, and there i could read and people watch. now i get to see corn fields at 85 mph. i haven't used my ipod for awhile, so it had no kind of battery whatsoever, but i've downloading some things that i'd like to hear on a daily basis, so i'm hoping it will do nicely on the morning commute to pass the time. it's plugged in for an overnight charging though, badly needed.

i am officially broke again. it's amazing how student loans get dispersed so easily. and the whole rising gas prices thing, boils me blood to no end. you'd think when the oil companies are recording record breaking profits along the line of 30% higher than last year, we'd actually listen, get outraged, get off our stupid asses and revolt. am i not the one of about 200 people who are seriously perplexed about the issue? seriously folks, raise a stink! write your senator! it's insane. enough of that though....i get too emotional to type.

went to see the ireland last night, good show with some honky-tonk sets. took my mum, she had a nice time, and a bomb pop martini. good times. we'll see how tomorrow rolls.

casserole vs. quiche

no. 1 and no. 2 were in rare form today. i am finding the disciplining actions necessary to keep my kids in line extremely exhausting. now that the ex and i are no longer together, i feel it will worsen, since he will be lax on the disciplining while i will be more firm. that sucks. no. 1 had kind of a breakthrough today though, as we were arguing about why he couldn't have water before bed, he told me i was just trying to be mean while he was being nice and asking, which was not the case. yes, he did ask, but then proceeeded not to listen when i said no, and went to get some water anyways. this is when i became mean, and he became a crazed lunatic who was screaming and crying. i was trying to explain to him that it's not really about the water, it's about listening and respecting me, and so on. we talked it out, he asked nicely, i caved and said yes to the both of them, and then i was commended with words from no. 2 that i was "really nice". job well done in the end...i think.

i have been obsessed with a local, perhaps national architectural style found in a handful of areas here in kc called the atomic ranch, mostly built and designed by an architect named drummond, i think. anyways, they are these crazy tiny ranch style homes with huge windows and kind of a space-agey 70's feel to them, they aslo seem kind of japanese-ish to me also. anyways, i have been hunting them down and longing for one of them to be my new house, but that's a ways off, and they're incresing in value around here, so i hear. i always catch on to things just as they get popular and expensive, never ahead of the curve...

butter chicken for dinner

have i told you how much i love the butter chicken? i have picked and choosed, can you say choosed, it sounds better than chosen, some ingredients from various recipes for the butter chicken dish i will be preparing tonight. i need to find some rice that doesn't come in crazy bulk though. can you get basmati in a 5 lb. bag?

i have now moved in with my mom. it's now official, i AM the early 30something basement dweller in my parent's home. i feel like i should have posters of van halen and weezer up on my walls, but i don't. at least it's not like i never moved out, it's just a temporary relocation, and i guess it means i am now newly single. that thought is just kinda weird. it should be interesting living out here in south central....jo.co. that is. living amongst the beige mcMansions of suburbia, but there is a target on every corner and strip malls galore. i was exploring a new strip mall today and came across a gym, like a fitness gym, for kids. how strange is that? i mean, i think kids should be active, and we all know that the youth of today is getting larger by the minute, but i have a feeling, those aren't even the kids who would utilize this gym. i'm thinking it's the parents who won't let their kids play outside because there might be a convicted sex offender within 20 miles of their house, but they still want their kids to be fit and active types of parents. don't get me wrong, i care about the welfare of my children as much as next person, but do i think they should miss out on playing outside during their childhood because of it, no. i even let them play outside unsupervised. as long as i can hear them arguing with one another, i know things are good. i'm sure there are many parents out there who completely disagree, and rightfully so, but i just can't keep them under my thumb for the rest of their lives. que sera....

people smiling everyday

today was my final in psych class. i'll have to say, i don't think i'm caring about this class at all. i can't help it, i am quite fascinated by people, but psychology just doesn't do it for me. hard to explain. we were supposed to wacth the stanford prison experiment, but instead just went through some slides about it, it seems pretty interesting, only six days... i highly recommend looking into it.

going out tonight to eden alley with some peeps who are leaving us for bigger better things in life, and that's a good thing.

looking forward to moving, but kinda apprehensive too. wondering how it'll effect no. 1 and no. 2. no. 2's heel is recovering quite well, no serious infection prevails after having the foreign body dug out last week.

yesterday was my last day at ghetto town, it was sad, i'm going to miss hearing questions like "do you use crack cocaine.....when was the last time you used crack/cocaine?" as i walk by. i had a rough to weeks and it was somewhat of a bittersweet end to it all, but alas, i now have the bates motel coming up. we'll see.

now that i have no money...

i always feel the desire to go out and spend insane amounts of money on junk i don't need when i am flat BROKE.

such as...
this
these
don't forget these

yeah, that's what dreams are for...

the daily grind

with the wedding and all the festivities surrounding, it seems as if i've been on vacation as of late, but tomorrow, back to routine life i suppose. i have a test tomorrow then i have two weeks of finals, the end of my clnical rotation, and then it's moving time. for those of you who don't know, i'm packin' up and movin' out. it's been 7 years now, and it's lasted about four more than i thought it would. leaving the house is sad, but i think it'll be a good thing when i finally get out of school and buy a new house that'll be all my own. i did get awesome no. 1 and no. 2 out of it though, and that's the best part. wouldn't trade them 2 for the world.

i've been really pissed lately, especially since i read that article in rolling stone about the election. it's pretty flippin' insane. if that's what happened in just one state, it makes you wonder about the other 49 of them. crikey. it's extremely infuriating, not to mention frustrating, and just downright sad. i think after the past two elections, it's going to be hard to get people to trust the electoral system anymore. it already has it's flaws, but then again, the whole bit with the electoral college and all was written how long ago? is it really necessary when we are living in the information age to need such an archaic elections system, not that i'm any expert on the subject, but that's my lowly opinion.

i wish i had a pint, a pint of one drunk monk that is...

confessions of a maniacal pastry chef

well, i'm done with the wedding cakes EARLY. i can't believe it. i have had no more than 9 hours of sleep in the past 3 days, but i'm done early, and i'm not worried about transport. this wedding cake thing just keeps gettting easier and easier. i think making wedding cakes is one of the most stressful endeavors i have taken on in my entire life. i'm glad i don't have cakes every weekend though, even if the money was rolling in. i'd have even more grey hair than i already do have. i even had enough time to have a leisurely breakfast with my mom, do some gardening, and we bought some ferns for the cake garnish. it's really going to look pretty. i can't wait to see their faces. nos. 1 and 2 are watching toy story 2 upstairs, letting me be with a moment of peace. ok, moment's over, movie's over. time to get rolling, and keep their dirty paws away from the buttercream...

swimmin' hole

whoooeee, 'twas a sultry ol' weekend. drug the kids to the pool, but we didn't stay long. no. 2 fell off the side and got a tad freaked out, it may take a couple more visits until he gets in the water at all. watched some movies this weekend; spring, summer, fall, winter and spring, winter passing, and i even saw the last half of deliverance. i've just never really been in the mood to see it, now i want to see it from start to finish. spring summer was weird too, hardly any dialogue at all, but didn't seem to need any either. winter passing was good, zooey deschanel is someone i like, but she's kinda seeming like kevin spacey to me lately, just the same character in every movie. kudos to will ferrell's performance though, good dramatic character with decent comedic lines, even though not intentionally so.

no. 1 got grounded from playing outside until next weekend, he took a board game outside and was playing with it in the sprinkler. he's really upset about it since he's found some new neighbor friends to play with. we're not really taking any other privileges from him though, so i'm not sure how well it's working.

it's cake week, i have 2 wedding cakes to make for the wedding on saturday. i can't wait to see the look on their faces. it's not everyday you get to make your own wedding cake for a bride who has no idea what the cake will end up looking like. i guess i should go over the list in my head, what i need and when i'm going to make it. i want this cake experience to be stress-free, even though they never really are. back to school tomorrow, i'm feeling spring fever upon me, and the desire to not go to class...no good!

student by day, foodie by night

having worked in restaurant for the past 10 years, i know a thing or two about dining out, and not only that, i probably eat out 300 out of the 365 nights of the year. i have had my fair share of bad servers, which i expect, even though having worked in the biz for years, i still can't stiff a server no matter how bad it is, but the crazy/nutty server is a whole other beast. it's almost worse for me to have a server who gives too much information and wants to chat you up, than one who just plain sucks, it freaks me out. we went out not too long ago and had this server who would point out to us all the things she was doing wrong. she set down the plate on the side of the table and knocked something off and she said something along the lines of, "oh, i shouldn't have set that plate there" but it was more in depth, and you could see she was mentally thiking, "stupid, i'm so stupid!" anyways, we had a server tonight who was slammed at the dinner hour. no big deal. we walked in at the same time as like 50 other people and there was really no wait, so pretty much, everyone got sat at the same time. i realize this and don't get very bothered by it at all. who cares if the manager is the one getting us drinks and taking our orders, that's kinda what they're there for. fianlly, the server shows up, asks what we were having to drink so that she could get our refills, than apologizes profusely for the wait. i assure her, no big deal. then, every time she comes by our table, she keeps telling us how we're this amazingly forgiving table. look, we didn't do anything special, we were seated, we didn't even wait that long, but then she starts bad-mouthing the other tables and saying how the were all angry, and whenever she walks by, she keeps saying all this flaky weird stuff to us. you know, i come from fine dining here, i'm from the school where servers shouldn't be seen much less heard. now, i don't want an inattentive server, but one who refills the water and drinks without my asking or noticing. if i feel like having friendly banter, one who will reciprocate, but not tell me their life story. is that too much to ask? i mean, i'm having a family dinner here. i don't need to know tht all the other diners in the restaurant are having hissy fits about the wait. it was exhausting. the meal was good, and i was up in arms about what tip to leave, so i just left my standard 20%. oh well. tomorrow i'll go to a different restaurant.

let's play master and servant...

i'm still mad i didn't get my $75 bucks back.

was at the job today, and there just happen to always be those "people" at jobs who you know from the get go that you're just not compatible. i mean, i would really not ever have known or hung out with or even been at the same restaurant as that person ever, were it not for the job. you know what else i hate? i hate it when people have no tact, i mean, where did some people learn their delivery skills? is there any particular reason you feel the need to point out the obvious to me and treat me as if i were a child? anyways, venting aside, today was good, didn't get my exam i was hoping for, but i did see a type b trauma, that was cool.

every day is a sundae

good day to hooky, i took a five hour mid-day "nap". who couldn't use one of them every so often? of course, i'm sure it might have had something to do with the fact that it's like 90 degrees in my house. always good to turn into a sloth when the weather sucks. i also had crazy dreams, perhaps due to the heat, about riding a skateboard to L-town with no. 2 in tow, and then he slipped into a sewer system, and i had to rescue him. the heat does strange things. it's good though, i'm supposed to be writing dreams down for class, and i can't ever remember them in the mornings, so now i at least have something.

i'm really trying to kick my coke (a cola) habit. i had to run up to the store and get one, something about the idea of a tall cool one...

day won

who knew the ease with which it would come...

went to no. 1's day at the races, it was a good show, but hot. completely different from when i was a child. the parachute was definitely the highlight. i've already decided which 'mates are best suited as friends for him, and which are definitely not invited over for dinner. i also decided i don't care much for his teacher, i think i might request a different one for no. 2 next year.

playing hooky today, bad....so bad.

i wish i could figure out how to not have every song from my itunes library downloaded automatically onto the pod. annoying. why can't the pod just have a delete function? why would that be so difficult?