sigh of relief...

i am so glad marcel did not win.....

cure to all cures

i have re-discovered "disintegration" and am glad i did. i have been feverishly looking-up ex's on my space and the likes of google, although i have no idea why. even when i find them, i don't try to contact them, i guess i'm just nosey. perhaps i am just waxing nostalgia. no. 1 and 2 have been driving me crazy with tattling and arguing. i love it when no. 2 argues about how he's not arguing. i seriously find him to be the most fascinating child i've ever known, not that no. 1 doesn't fascinate me, it's just that no. 2 is a bit zestier with his creativity. i have decided short-time daytrips in the car aren't worth the bickering in the backseat, even if you do happen to pass a dead cow on the highway. it was actually kinda the highlight of the day. i have been going out a lot for the past couple of weeks, and i think i should slow it down a bit. how i do like hanging out with the youngsters though. it's fun for some entertainment. i'm feeling like i should go to lawrence son and hang out some night, see how the town's changed, or not changed. anyone else feel like an evening out on the lawrence town?

it all came crushing down

the "crush" has been crushed. it was short and sweet...and fun. i have decided that i like having secret crushes, i find them much more stimulating. i also like the whole flirting ritual. i find that flirting is almost more successful for me than actually winning the "prize" of dating. i also find that i have no patience in the ritual of dating either, i think it's the 30something in me, or maybe just the mother of 2 kids in me, who knows. either way, i was ready for change much sooner than i thought i would have been. i was thinking i wouldn't want to date anyone for a couple of years after the 7 long ones i spent being mostly unhappy with my ex. it's good to know the fire has been sparked, even though i have no idea how to go about dating, i'm not the myspace type. i'm still not in any hurry. i would actually like to not be living with my mom when i introduce myself to any prospective dating partner. my own place would be good, that's next on the 'to do' list...

secrets

do you ever wonder if you told a friend intricate details about your life, if their opinion of you would drastically change? we all have secrets and sordid desires. do you friends really know you all that well? how long does it take for you to divulge these "peculiarities?" do you feel ashamed telling your friends? would you find it easier to tell a stranger? i would. especially if i knew i wasn't going to see the person again. don't you find it odd that the people who know you "best" perhaps don't really know you well at all, rather a version of you that's mostly accurate, but not entirely. do you think we should tell our closest friends of our most peculiar habits, or not?