STL

I was lucky enough to go on the ireland anniversary vacation this year, due to an ill pup and non-refundable accomodations. not that i was elated about either situation, but i was excited to take a weekend without the kids and chillin with the btk. the b&b we stayed in was pretty amazing, all those hours btk spends aimlessly on the internet do come in handy when researching decent accomodations. although i think one of the highlights of the trip was when we were taking a pit stop somewhere on an inbred stretch of I-70 and i was leered at by some drunkard who felt the urge to tell me that i had some "big ass titties". always a fantastic way to start a vacation, but who am i kidding, it was a road trip. my part as the wedding crasher was kept at a minimum, no hook-ups with strange wedding guests (way too small of a wedding, but i was hoping for some sordid behavior), or crazy drunken foolishness. i did feel the need to purchase new shoes prior to the wedding and kill my feet with them during the reception, what a genius i am for such acts of self-masochism. i guess the suckiest part was the monster rainstorm we hit just past columbia, that sucked. all in all, everything in between was just peachy. i don't know how long it's been since i had a vacation in which i literally purchased nothing, aside from sustainance. no shoes, no knick-knacks, no souvenirs, no nothin'! not that i didn't see things i wanted, there was plenty in that category, such as half the stock at DWR. we didn't hit a whole lot of boutique-y stores, otherwise i'm sure i could have found 'something' i couldn't live without, but alas, empty-handed i am. thank you to btk and the other ireland for the vacate, i had a fantabulous time. hopefully next year i won't crash your party...

daddy-oh's

took the boys to the record bar on friday night to see the doo-dads. as usual, it was a rockin' good show about peanut butter in your ears and don't forget your please and thank you's. the kids liked the kid friendly menu as well, however, there was no break dancing by scar to be had this night, t'was unfortunate. next show is may 25th, we will be there, or we will be square. who doesn't love takin' the youngsters to the local watering hole?

a right of passage or a wrong?

no. 2 finally did it, he took the life of his cute liam gallagher-ish haircut and hacked at his own locks. yes, it's true. i myself waited until i was in the first grade to put my own scissors to work during some kind of boring writing lesson i am sure. i may possibly be the only child who didn't cut my bangs though, i took a big ol' chunk right from the crown of my head. i had a really funny looking cowlick for like a year afterwards too, kind of alfalfa-like. of course, you may be asking yourself, where was the parental supervision during this time of salon simulation? well, let's just say that a teenage babysitter doesn't always think about what happens when the older kid puts the scissors down after he gets done using them. she even pulled the family flo-bee out and thought about mending the damage herself, but decided to leave it to professional hands. i think it only takes once for this to happen, and then we as adults put the damnation of shame upon the child for doing something so heinous as altercation of a haircut. it's not that i really mind that he did it, i have always been unsympathetic to people who whine about their bad haircuts as if their hair will never grow again, it's the fact that his hair was looking really cute lately, ie- the aforementioned oasis-doo. he now looks like david beckham with his buzzcut, still a cute lil brit after all...

just a small jaunt to the er for some angioplasty

so my dad emails me today that he's going to be in town the week of april 18th and would i be free to go to dinner with him during the week. he then casually writes me that he had some burning in his chest last week and went to the er in santa fe and had arterial angioplasty. he then talks about how expensive the meds he needs to take are. now, my interpretation of this is... important: coming to kc, let's get together; not important: nearly had a heart attack; important: this medication is gonna cost me big bucks. wtf? i emailed him back to tell him that if he's ever in the er for his heart again, i "expect" an immediate phone call. i don't give a rat's ass if it's the simplest procedure ever, when it involves your heart, there's a need to know from your immediate family members, apparently estranged as we may be. yes dad, it would have been much better to receive the phone call AFTER you were dead!? jesus. mind you, when my dad was married to my mom, money was never any object, he never discussed it, never told my mom to watch any spending, kind of just let it be, now, he and his psychotic wife are like crazy penny-pinching misers. it's not like my mom took the guy to the cleaners or anything either. when we went down to see them 2 years ago, they acted like they couldn't afford to go out to dinner. let me also say that my dad makes well over 6 figures a year. this woman has really done a number on my dad, and he has been a willing partner to her craziness. it totally infuriates me. you know how you casually use to word hate about people you may come across whose personalities don't really mesh with yours, or perhaps they just said something insensitive to you once and you've held a grudge, this does not apply to me when i think of my dad's wife, i seriously hate the woman. you can't be mean to my kids and get away with it, forget how you treat me, who friggin cares, but my kids, who are awesome? don't even go there lady, you'll be cruisin for a bruisin....

really? you really think i need therapy?

duhduh-datingdom

well, my foray into dating ceased today, as i have said countless times before. it's no secret that i have issues when it comes to dating; kids, bad past relationships, traumatic past events, self-esteem issues etc etc. however, i am the kind of person who seems to be introspective enough to identify some of my own disruptive psychological behaviors or tendencies. i tend to be pretty open about them to m partners as well, but it really bothers me when other people don't even recognize or admit to the fact that they too have faulty behaviors. usually when i run across something i find insane about myself, i'm usually the first to think i'm emotionally retarded. occasionally i need the help of others, even though i might not particularly like what results from these discussions. i've always really been able to pick and choose what i try to tell to my friends. i always try not to villify whomever i might be discussing, for this reason and this reason alone, i'm with WWE. much as i think i probably do need some kind of therapy to resolve some of my issues without turning my friends into makeshift therapists, i just don't have the means to go about it right now. i just hate the idea of the 'typecast'. you know, when your therapist goes, "oh yeah, classic case of... fill dysfunction in the blank". that's why i hate listening to psychological radio shows like dr. drew, it's constantly, "what was your realtionship like with your father?" "well, that explains EVERYTHING!" argh, that drives me nuts, as if there is no other facet for how women deal with relationships other than how much their dads hugged them as a child, and let's not forget that every single female out there has had some sexual trauma, even if they don't own up to it. i always find talking to strangers much more liberating anyways.

TVOTR

went and saw tv on the radio last night and it was an overall good show. it sucked that it was at harrah's, which i think they also thought was weird by some of the comments made during the show. by and large though, harrah's offers pretty good sound, but expensive water, $2 for a measly 8oz bottle. many of you who know me know that i really prefer artists to sound live the same as they sound on the album, with the exception of some 'jam' type bands like white stripes and flaming lips. i prefer that because it makes me think that they don't just clean the album all up and sound over produced. recreating album sound is what i find beneficial in a quality live show. but tvotr still delivered even though a lot of the little additions present on the album were missing in the live performance. one of the reasons i like tvotr so much is their lyrical content, and the lyrics were mostly inaudible, which i thought sucked if you don't listen to them much. all in all, good show, but i think it'd be even better in a significantly smaller venue. i'm tired of the standard indie rock "stand still with little head movement" type "dancing" that goes on at these shows, i'm ready for people to get full on into it and start shakin some asses.

if he gets up, we all get up, it'll be anarchy

i haven't much been feeling like posting lately. i just feel as if i have nothing to say. i seem to be working a lot. i seem to be having the same recurrent issues with my dating life. i do, however, seem to be feeling the largest itch to move out of my mom's house. although, how i would afford to live alone beats me. still, i yearn for a place to call my own, where no judgement is passed, i can concoct my own decorating scenarios, i don't have to worry about cleaning up for the housekeeper to come and clean up,(i always find that the most ridiculous request) and i think it's mostly because i realized that i have never lived alone. i did live alone in england for a few months, but that was a bedsit, hardly my own place, and i lived alone during college for one summer after my roomies moved on to bigger brighter things, but still, not my own. now i feel like i really NEED to live alone, yeah sure nos. 1&2 will be there, but they have no say in the decor. it's my newest mission. as soon as i start working full-time.

part-timer

i have got to get myself another part-time job filling up the two days of the week that i don't already work. it's not so much that i need the money, but that i feel like a slug on the days that i don't work. i mean, i don't have extra money, so i don't go out and do much shopping, i pretty much waste the days away napping, watching tv, or running small errands. now, i realize that if i didn't have the days off, i'd probably hate it and complain about how i never have any time to do all the little things that build up during the week that aren't able to be done during the weekends, but man, i feel i need to be a bit more productive. i'm sure once spring hits in full force, i'll completely change my mind, as i always get spring fever. i think my grades always drop during spring semesters, it's a wonder anything gets done during spring. who doesn't hate being trapped inside on the first few days of really nice weather after the winter cold departs? not me... speaking of departing winter, can i tell you how much i can't wait until winter is over? seriously, this cold weather is driving me crazy, more and more snow. i haven't seen this much snow in a winter in seriously like 10 years or more. good ol' global warming, f**kin up the jetstream..

life with kids

if there is one thing i have found out over the past couple of months, it's that dating with kids is a whole other beast than just dating alone. you have kid's schedules and working around that, and if the person you are dating has kids, that's another factor. either way, dating is hard enough without having to tiptoe around your kids and late night visits after bedtime. it's kinda funny, but it does take some getting used to. it used to be, for me at least, that if i started "dating" someone, it was almost instantaneous that we'd hang out ALL the time. you know what i'm talking about. like when one of your friends gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend, they are MIA for a month or so, sometimes longer. not so when you have kids. i was lucky to see the person i was dating once a week, if that. i think over the past 2 months we've only acually hung out together like 6-7 times. that's not a lot. i never really thought that dating could be more difficult than it was when i was single and childless, now i stand corrected. i guess i'll have to wait until my kids are in college before i can start dating again, it'd make it much easier, but by then, i'll be so engrossed in the daily routine of my life that i'll have a hard time with the adaptation of sharing my free time with someone else. and i'll be 45 years old and even more self-conscious than i am now. oh my, what will the future hold?

loud and proud

yep, i passed 'em, and to brag, i passed with a 95(you can only get up to a 99). yep, now i have street cred. i can sign my name with letters behind it. although you can't call me doctor, i feel that i am entitled to hand out free medical advice without anyone's asking, because i am now an expert...on what, i'm still unsure. and oh goody, now i can start squishin' ol' lady boobies and watching them pass out during compression. woo-hoo!

bored exams

i have taken my boards, or the boards have taken me, either way, it's over, if i passed that is, which i think i did. i found it surprisingly easier than i thought it'd be, which kinda worries me. hopefully, results won't take 4 weeks. i hear people have been getting them back in 1 week. that'd be awesome. i talked to some friends who walked out thinking they'd flunked. i studied for 4-5 evenings, and 1 day, re-read my entire textbook and a practice book and thought i did pretty good. it always floors me when people study for like 2-3 hours a day for weeks on end and walk out of an exam thinking they've failed and knowing that they've missed multiple questions. granted, i don't recall much of what i took in for very long, but sheesh, what am i doing here? saving lives? don't we all know to wash our hands after peeing and blowing our noses, wait, my kids don't even do that.......ooops. and i think bk makes a valid point, life is open book, why can't boards be? i have seen many a radiologist consult textbooks prior to diagnoses. nine minutes til my 33rd birthday. crikey!

study study study

i have four days left to study, and what am i doing right now, blogging. yep, i am the ultimate in procrastination. i should be doing insane calculations and memorizing catheter types and infection control methods, however, i am tired of needing to know this. i wonder if my knowledge will turn to soup once i've taken my test. i have been preparing mentally for it for the past couple of weeks by exercising my braincells under the influence of beer. that's gotta be killing my chances of recalling any pertinent information. i guess we'll know after tuesday...

since ie been working at the clinic, i have found the best symptom/diagnosis ever is the term "precocious puberty". i love x-raying pubescent kids' hands to see if they are on track with what the medical field thinks your body should/should not be doing. how embarassing would that be to see on your prescription paper? as if being 13 isn't hard enough...

sigh of relief...

i am so glad marcel did not win.....

cure to all cures

i have re-discovered "disintegration" and am glad i did. i have been feverishly looking-up ex's on my space and the likes of google, although i have no idea why. even when i find them, i don't try to contact them, i guess i'm just nosey. perhaps i am just waxing nostalgia. no. 1 and 2 have been driving me crazy with tattling and arguing. i love it when no. 2 argues about how he's not arguing. i seriously find him to be the most fascinating child i've ever known, not that no. 1 doesn't fascinate me, it's just that no. 2 is a bit zestier with his creativity. i have decided short-time daytrips in the car aren't worth the bickering in the backseat, even if you do happen to pass a dead cow on the highway. it was actually kinda the highlight of the day. i have been going out a lot for the past couple of weeks, and i think i should slow it down a bit. how i do like hanging out with the youngsters though. it's fun for some entertainment. i'm feeling like i should go to lawrence son and hang out some night, see how the town's changed, or not changed. anyone else feel like an evening out on the lawrence town?

it all came crushing down

the "crush" has been crushed. it was short and sweet...and fun. i have decided that i like having secret crushes, i find them much more stimulating. i also like the whole flirting ritual. i find that flirting is almost more successful for me than actually winning the "prize" of dating. i also find that i have no patience in the ritual of dating either, i think it's the 30something in me, or maybe just the mother of 2 kids in me, who knows. either way, i was ready for change much sooner than i thought i would have been. i was thinking i wouldn't want to date anyone for a couple of years after the 7 long ones i spent being mostly unhappy with my ex. it's good to know the fire has been sparked, even though i have no idea how to go about dating, i'm not the myspace type. i'm still not in any hurry. i would actually like to not be living with my mom when i introduce myself to any prospective dating partner. my own place would be good, that's next on the 'to do' list...

secrets

do you ever wonder if you told a friend intricate details about your life, if their opinion of you would drastically change? we all have secrets and sordid desires. do you friends really know you all that well? how long does it take for you to divulge these "peculiarities?" do you feel ashamed telling your friends? would you find it easier to tell a stranger? i would. especially if i knew i wasn't going to see the person again. don't you find it odd that the people who know you "best" perhaps don't really know you well at all, rather a version of you that's mostly accurate, but not entirely. do you think we should tell our closest friends of our most peculiar habits, or not?

i finally got around to it

i finally saw the d*ck in a box skit from SNL with justin timberlake, pretty funny. it'a slways good to see that some celebrities don't take themselves entirely seriously. today is like the day after christmas to me, nothing to do, don't really want to do anything. i feel as if the storm has been weathered, whatever that means. i'm still feeling overwhelmed by the social calendar. i don't usually have much to do on the weekends, but post graduation, x-mas, grad party, jamie's 30th, and then new years, dang, it's almost too much. i even skipped out on greensmans party this year, (an annual tradition) i wasn't feeeling up to driving the kids up there to party with the gays. next year when the schedule isn't quite so hectic, i'll go.

i think no. 2's new slippers are the cutest things in the world, i mean, they're your basic fleece slippers, but they look really tiny and cute on him. they're also loving the wedgits i got them, now we need to go spend the $75 each gift cards they got from target, they're burning holes in their pockets....

blues for christmas

haha, x-mas is over this year and we've only had a few traumatic meltdowns. all were due to inabilities to read names on tags. no. 1 had a crazy meltdown when i told him that the gifts he was opening were not to him, but from him, you see, he recognized that his name was on the card, but didn't realize there was this to/from thing going on, so when i told him, he gt really mad and i thought he was going to go exorcist on me, seriously folks, linda blair type sh*t. at least we snapped a few pics of his demonic face, but i need to get em from my bro. i do however have this......



this is what x-mas eve looks like at my house when santa is visiting.

diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks

i have recently developed a crush on a person (no secret now) whom is not really what any one of my friends would consider my "type". now, the last 2 crushes i have had have been on people who are not my "type", or at least, my previous type. i think it comes along with the changing of perspective you get when you either turn 30, have kids, or just have been in numerous relationships with people who are your "type", but didn't work out so well. i mean, doesn't that kind of say, "hey, my 'type' doesn't seem to be working for me?" i also think that with the changes i have made in life as of recently, why not date someone completely out of my realm of comfort? never in my life have i ever thought i would date someone who likes football, but i have also found that it's virtually impossible to find non-football-likers here. and those who don't like football, tend to fall in the category of my "type", which as we discussed ealrier, tend to be relationships that don't work out for me. are you feeling me people? i'm moving out of the comfort zone. i find it funny that when you have been in a crappy relationship, you are always the wiser when it comes to what you look for in a mate, like cleanliness. uh-huh, you know who i'm talking about...then again, they are but mere crushes, people i do not know intimately. it becomes less a physical attraction, and more a 'could i live with this person' attraction. does he/she feel the same way about politics that i do, do we share musical interests? are they a smoker? do they clean their house? kids? financial stability? drinker?... it's crazy all the factors that go into relationships with age. no wonder it gets harder as you get older, you become way more picky about social tendencies, and less about physical attraction. sometimes you luck out and get both.

school's out for-evah!

haha, school is audi 5000, uh-huh... final's are ovah! not only that, but today i gots me a job, yup, thas right, i'm gainfully employed. for those of you who are naysayers, told ya so! i so totally rock, how could you even doubt....

now, where's the party at?